Happy RED Day!

“Happy Red Day”, my mom would say as she woke us up on February 14th. My two brothers and I would race downstairs, sit at the kitchen island, and dig into our red bag, which had been thoughtfully filled with all kinds of red toys, red candy, red accessories, etc. My mom really went all out on holidays, and created some of the most special memories for us three kids. Now, she’s spoiling the heck out of my four kids and her other grandkids, but that’s a different story.

As a kid, I had no idea Valentine’s Day was supposed to be this romantic holiday until a fourth grade classmate brought me a gift and homemade card to school, and asked me to be his valentine (I said no. Sorry, Kevin.). As time went by, I wasn’t a VDAY hater, announcing that it’s a made up holiday so that the card companies can make money, but I didn’t stress about whether I was going to be asked out by a boy either. I was more excited about what was going to be in my RED Day bag, and what kind of treats I was going to get. By high school things shifted to be more about my friends, so I would buy the $1 carnation to send to them in their third period class, or send them a singing telegram to support the choir fundraiser. As someone who has the love language of gifts and service, this made ME so happy . . . but, I often found myself upset, as many people with my love languages do, because I was giving but not always receiving. Broken friendships over the years probably made me more jaded about this holiday than boys did. I already knew most of them were stupid, LOL, but I really expected so much from my friends. In hindsight, I doubt there was any malicious intent from the majority of them (don’t get me wrong, there were definitely some mean girls), and they just showed their love in different ways. And, since we keep it real here, I can admit that I likely made an idol out of my friendships. I didn’t become a Christian until I was 17 (and even still, my early years walking with God were closely intertwined with a very serious boyfriend, so things were very confusing . . . but that’s another story), so I am sure much of the expectations I was putting on my earthly friendships would have been better fulfilled had I known God. All that to say, by the time I got married I played it off as disliking VDay, joining sides with the people who grumble that it’s a Hallmark holiday, but I think I just wanted to protect myself from getting hurt. You know, because if you lower your expectations, people are more likely to meet them, and you will be happier, right? MEH.

This past year, while filled with all kinds of challenges, was also filled with many unexpected blessings. While the world was shut down, we were able to spend a lot of time together as a family and had weekly play dates with my parents. It really taught me to slow down, appreciate the simple joys in life, and check in with loved ones. My mom recently had a health scare, and, it showed me two things: 1, Trusting in anything other than the secure, saving love of Jesus, is meaningless. I spent a lot more time in prayer while my mom was sick than I had when things were going well. 2, Life is but a vapor (see Ecclesiastes), and we are not promised tomorrow. My husband and I have talked about how we intend to love and serve others well while on this side of Eternity. Whereas we wouldn’t have previously made a big deal about or made the effort to celebrate this day, we decided we needed to change our perspective about Love Day. This day, (and truly, every day), is an opportunity to love others well and, most importantly, share the perfect, unending, saving love of God with them. For us, that meant making all kinds of GF/DF treats with the kids, attending a special RED Day celebration at my parents’, and proudly wearing red today. I hope that my kids grow up knowing how loved they are (by the Lord and their family), and have fond memories of their childhood. Life is too short to hold grudges, be pessimistic, or refuse to celebrate. Now, excuse me while I go attempt to make heart-shaped meatloaves, and say YES to my kids eating more chocolate covered strawberries.